when things become official, that's when it gets scary

so things are official and confirmed.  january 7th, me and alan "igor" etoll leave for fort lauderdale florida...  it's unbelievably real now.  and it's starting to make me feel the way i was afraid i'd feel eventually.  sad...  sad yet still excited and so more than ready.  like i've said before so many times, i've been waiting for this opportunity to come along and now that it's finally here, i'm taking it will both hands and i'm swinging around and smiling, overjoyed at the reality of it all.  

but then again...  there's the fact that there are so many people that i'm going to miss.  i keep going over in my head what my last night here will be like...  i've been here before, and while it's like a scene out of a good movie (i like things like that for some stupid reason...) it's so heartbreaking already that i'm not going to see these people for a very long time.  and even some people, who knows if i'll ever see them again?  acquaintances, recent friendships and relationship i've made, old bandmates, and of course, my family.  as ready as i am to move away from my mother, father, brother, and my dear sister, i'm going to miss them so much...  all of them have been there for me these last 4 years more than anyone has and in more ways than i realized at the time.  i could not have asked for better people to be this close to me and be my family...

ah....  well i think i've been an emotional bitch enough for this week.  later, ya'll.