ugh... dude!!

i wanna scream!!!!!  scream like a fucking mad man, and punch things and kick them and just totally destroy everything beautiful around me because at this moment, i feel like nothing around me deserves to be beautiful, or special or sacred or innocent or anything.  i hate these holidays, i hate being so scared about moving, i hate how i feel about......   her, and i hate how everyone around me just wont leave me alone when i'm upset.  WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU NOT FIGURED THIS OUT BY NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  FUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!