i knew this would happen

yeah, i kinda had a feeling this would happen...  i'm scared about leaving, but it's not overwhelming me or anything, it's just making me feel skeptical and worried.  it's natural, so i'm not bothered by it.  i just know that within the next couple days i'm gonna have that moment where i'm gonna say "what the fuck am i doing???  do i really want to do this???  what the hell, this is crazy!!!".  and like i did before, i'll get over it.  last time i had a girl and it made leaving SO so so hard...  (and funny enough, she's making it kinda hard for me again).  but things are different this time.  as i've said before, i want nothing else at this point but to just start my life over.  fresh start.  if you want to start it with me, then tell me.  you won't read this, but i'm telling you right now, if you want to start over with me, tell me.  it can happen if you want.  i'd try to make it happen, i promise.

anyways...  man...  i'm gonna miss so much of you...  all of you.  i could leave that statement as is and everyone would know exactly who i was talking about and what it would mean to each person.  the inflections would ring true in there ears and their hearts would swell at the thought of just how much i mean it when i say it.  because nothing more true has left my lips or fingertips as of late.  .........  i honestly feel like i'm leaving everything behind so selfishly.  and then i start thinking, "you're not that special dude, life'll go on for everyone without you".  and i know it will but i'd like to think that i had a bigger impact on people than just being there.  i'm just being shitty...  i'll be fine.  i'm just gonna miss you people so much...